How we talk together is how we work together

How we talk together is how we work together.

Our lives are defined by the conversations we can and can't have.

Our organizations and teams are also defined by the conversations they can and can't have - if there's more truth in the hallways and side conversations than in the boardrooms, there's a problem.

How we talk together is how we work together.

If we can't really talk together, we can't really work together.

If you want to see a change, it's your job to lead the conversations you want to happen. It's your job to ask "what does this conversation need?" and then to show up and bring what it needs.

Leadership is the art of showing up, on purpose, to serve the conversation and the people in it and to facilitate that conversation.

I posted these ideas on LinkedIn and was thrilled with some of the responses (feel free to add yours).

One commenter pointed out that we should start to become aware of power dynamics in conversations:

these narratives can often leave out elements of (real or perceived) power and control, earned and unearned privilege, and the systemic unresolved trauma built into our organizations, systems, and - by default - our leaders.

And to that I say…these elements exist at the level of the individual conversation. Each conversation can be an opportunity to call these dynamics out and resolve them. And let’s be even clearer: this process takes energy. Shifting a system doesn’t happen by accident…It happens conversation by conversation. And leading the conversation you want to have can take effort.